When loved ones are called home

In the past week, I’ve been in the general neighbourhood of death and dying. Three deaths were out and about in my space. On Saturday, July 2, my favourite senior cousin, Mina Adobea Appeah, was buried. On the same day, a very fine journalist, one of my many famous former students whom I’m so proud of, Sammy Okaitey, was also laid to rest. Two days earlier, last Thursday, June 30^th, the Editor of this newspaper, and the writer of one of the best and longest-running columns, Merari Alomele, checked out and with that, brought an abrupt end to the Sikaman Palaver column.

Cousin Mina:

My cousin Mina was one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever known. Tall, gorgeous and with a face you can’t forget. There I was, holding my mother’s hand, to watch as she was pushed into her coffin. This was the second time ever in my fifty-something years of life I’ve witnessed this grand farewell act of pushing a dead body into a coffin. I couldn’t cry. I was frozen. I watched with intensity as the ‘handlers’ struggled to force and fit Mina’s stiff body into the coffin which suddenly appeared to be too small!

I so dearly loved Mina but as I watched the bizarre farewell scene, it hit me that it’s been a long time since I spent any quality time with her. With shame, I realised that I’ve been too busy with my career –teaching, consulting, writing, television and traveling! I doubt if Mina knew how much I loved her, adored her, and looked up to her as an older cousin.

But it was too late to tell her my heart message. All I could do was to take in the privilege of being one of six people to witness her final moment and the nailing of the coffin. I stood there, alive but stiff too, wondering, ‘Mina, is that it?’ Apparently, that was it! So, when would it be my turn since this is the fate of all living beings? What a troubling life (death?) question! Mina was 68. Her funeral was packed with church-goers. I moved from Mina’s funeral to the next – Sammy’s

Sammy Okaitey, a fine Journalist called home!

Gone too soon, of course! At just 52, Sammy has checked out into eternity. I’ve never thought of the Accra Sports Stadium as a site for a funeral! But Sammy Okaitey, a fine sports journalist, literally commandeered hundreds of people to the stadium for his funeral and to see him off next door at the Osu cemetery. Having worked up the rank from a reporter (with specialization in sports) to become the News Editor of Ghana’s leading newspaper, the Daily Graphic, Sammy Okaitey’s funeral was packed with journalists and media practitioners as well as the who-is-who of the sports world in Ghana.

Boxer Azumah Nelson was a solid presence. So were Kabral Blay Amihere, Akoto Ampaw, Kofi Nyantakyi, Ransford Tettey, Affail Monney, Kwasi Gyan-Appenteng, Kofi Yeboah, Cofi Koomson, Enimil Ashon, and many many more. Much of the staff of the Graphic Communications Group as well as leading journalists from the Ghana Broadcasting Corporation, the New Times Corporation and the private media showed up at Sammy’s funeral. It was a farewell party for one of our own and by that, a get-together for the living.

Sammy’s funeral was a place to find journalists who have been lost in action for as long as Abraham was a school boy. After all, Sammy was for almost three decades, a permanent fixture on the media scene and exceled himself. I do not understand sports but I could understand him, and by that, he succeeded in cracking a little window into sports for me. But another funeral awaits!

‘The Sikaman Goes Home’: The Book

The hearts of many readers of the ‘Sikaman Palaver’ column are broken over Merari Alomele’s death. His was a unique name. There are many who buy or pick up The Spectator just so they can read what Alomele has written. But now he is gone. Fortunately, despite the fact of his death, he has left jewels of himself behind through his writings. Dear reader, what would you leave behind on the day you’re called ‘home’? What impact are you making in your corner of life?

Dear reader, if you’re one of the lovers of the ‘Sikaman’ column, won’t you buy a book – ‘The Sikaman Goes Home’? Alor, as he was affectionately called, has written so much week after week, year after year. If his classy pieces, including his award-winning articles, are compiled, a couple of books could come out of him even in death. Amazing! Impressive!

For several years, Alor passionately touched on issues from A to Z about the state of Ghana, which he nicknamed ‘Sikaman.’ A compilation of his writings into a book would be a hot sale and the proceeds – the cash, ‘sika’ – could be used to bless his young children.

Enduring Questions:

So last week was an emotionally packed week for me. Tough! These were human stories that woke me up about beginnings and endings. Life is definitely very short. Here is an enduring question to ponder over. If you were reliably informed that you (me) have three hours, three days, three weeks, three months or three years more to live, what would you do? What activities would you choose to engage in and which ones would you abandon? Would you continue to waste your precious hours, days, weeks, months and years on inconsequential activities and thoughts?

All these deaths have reminded me of the brevity of life. Home going! Call to glory! Glorious walk to eternity! Home call! Transition! Call to higher service! These are flamboyant phrases used in newspapers to announce death. This death and dying thing is for all ages, all genders, all races – and all living beings. Eh, where is ‘home’? Oh, so where we live is not ‘home’? Yet, we spend much time and effort to build concrete homes? What is the ‘call’? Why the ‘call’? These are spooky thoughts. As you grieve the death of loved ones, you vicariously grieve your own.

So much love is displayed at funerals. If only we could show as much love to the living, the world would become a better place. These past weeks, a person I’ve considered a very good friend betrayed me. Being around these three deaths teach me the importance of forgiveness and redemption. When would you die? When would I die? The answers to these questions can never be known.

But one thing we should know for sure is that while we’re here, we should never treat others as if they’re trash and don’t matter. It’s unnecessary to hurt your loved ones. For now, there is one life to live. If, as scripture says, there is another life, then that would be a bonus. For the time being, we’re to live this life we currently have to the fullest and in goodness; in full acknowledgement to the brevity of this current life. Don’t neglect what is truly important. So, what is truly important to you? Go figure!