The Koko seller’s blessings

This is one of the favourite stories of my beloved sister and best friend, Kuokor (Mrs. Angelina Larbi). She tells and re-tells this story so many times that I must share it for all it’s worth. Sharing is good.

A woman makes and sells Koko (corn porridge) in front of her house every morning (Let’s just call her Sister Amerley – not her real name). She is a mother of four young boys (Let’s call them Kwame, George, Edmund and Paapa). At this point in the story, the husband (Mr Atta Mensah – not his real name), had moved out of the house, leaving the woman alone to toil to take care of herself and the four boys. So by all standards known – social, financial, religious, cultural, moral – Mr Mensah, popularly known as Kwame Papa -- is an irresponsible son-of-a-gun.


Despite her apparent emotional pains, Amerley‘s koko business flourished. In no time, a pot of koko was not enough for her customers. She increased it to two pots and the customers kept coming. She increased it to four pots but could not satisfy the demands of the neighbourhood koko market. Her koko was the talk of town and customers from far and wide gravitated and trouped to Amerley’s koko stand. The market forces were so strong that she had to add an evening session to the morning session.


Soon, she did not have enough hands to collect the money from her koko sales. With pocket strength comes increased taste. Amerley could now wear lace and take very good care of her four growing sons. Meanwhile, Mensah remained out of the picture. He was not reaching out to them; he was not visiting. He was an absentee father, if a father at all.


One evening, one of Amerley’s friends, Cecilia, stopped by for a gossipy conversation. She said to her, “Eh, Amerley, would you ever learn? You are allowing Kwame Papa to make a fool of you by not helping you raise these boys. Boys must be raised by their fathers. You must take them to him to teach him a lesson. You’re working too hard for nothing. When they become somebody in future, they’ll remember their father. Amerley, listen to me oh!”


Our single mother Amerley slept over this matter; she gave it a lot of deep thought. The verdict?


The friendly advice was superb. Kwame Papa must be taught an important lesson he will never forget. Cecilia is right; it’s a man who should raise boys. If she toils all by herself to raise the boys, one day when they become ‘somebody’, they would take care of their father in old age. Besides, the boys constituted a distraction in her koko business. If they moved to live with their father, she will have all more time to make and sell more koko. With that, her business would more than double. She’ll become really rich.


So one fine afternoon, in between the morning and evening koko sessions, Amerley packed the four boys and headed to the house of the absentee husband. She found him, unemployed and as broke as an unemployed can be; a church mouse of some sort. After exchanging a few jugular bouts of insults, she left the boys with their broke father and returned home. Days and weeks and months passed and she maintained her new status as a successful koko seller – without her children, with husband AWOL.


Blessings through toils


Then one day, a certain old man stopped by to buy koko. Before he departed, with lowered voice, he asked Amerley, “Where are my friends? I’ve not seen them around for some time now.” He was referring to the boys. She explained to the old man, with bitterness and vindictiveness, that she had sent them to live with their father because the man was cheating her, and not contributing anything for the upkeep of the boys. The old man responded in disappointment, “Oh, you took the boys away? Hmmm! We were blessing you because of the boys.” With this, the old man walked away, sullen.


Amerley was speechless. Blessing? What blessing? That night was a sleepless night filled with tossing and sweating. That night was a troubled night. That night was a night of deep reflection. That night, the pillow suffered with no side comfortable enough for her koko-charged problems.


She was being blessed because of the boys? Hmmmm! Then, it hit her. Since the departure of the boys, her business was not what it used to be. The koko glow was gone. The koko vibrancy was gone. The koko volume was gone. The koko queues were long gone. The koko money had definitely trimmed down. Now, one pot of koko took a long time to be sold. Life was not the same. Her busy days had come to an end. Idleness had set in.


So by day break, she had resolved to go to the ex-husband’s house to reclaim her four boys and bring them back to live with her. The next day, she set out at dawn. She arrived to find the children and their father in superb circumstances. The unemployed broke son of a gun Kwame Papa was now employed and doing very well. His circumstances had changed. The boys were in good stead in their new life. After the clumsy welcomes, Amerley announced the purpose of her visit: to take the boys away.


To this request, the man vehemently said no. He informed Amerley in clear and bold and uncertain terms that he can take care of them. No amount of loud pleas from Amerley would change Mensah’s mind. She appealed to a grown up from the neighbourhood to help plead on her behalf. But Kwame Papa maintained his defiant stand. After a few hours of pleading without success, Amerley returned home alone, without her four sons. Her koko business never returned to the peak production and sales. The descent in sales continued. The blessings had hugged Mr Mensah!


Enduring Questions:


Blessings? What blessings? Are there blessings in suffering? Does suffering build character? Where do blessings come from? Do blessings come from people? Do blessings come from thoughts? Do blessings come from things? Do blessings descend on us from the ‘universe’ and God – what/whoever you perceive it/Him to be?


Fathers stay out of the lives of their children for several reasons. Some men are just unapologetically irresponsible and behave like male animals who impregnate their females and move on, never thinking of the consequences of their conjugal groin acts. But some move away from their children because of fracas with their women.


What is wrong is wrong. Mr Mensah cheaply chickened out of the life of the family irresponsibly because he couldn’t stand the heat of being unemployed and broke. He was not man enough. Ego reigned supreme. Problems which we avoid have a way to bite us in dark and hidden places.


But Amerley, oh Amerley!! Did she over-react? Wasn’t it insensitive to have taken the four boys to an unemployed man? Was it more important to teach Mr Mensah a lesson (‘make him suffer’) or to lay the red carpet of love for her children since she was able because her koko business was thriving? Well, too many questions. Dear reader, pose your own questions and come up with answers if you’re able.