Naughty words to live by

Since January, some words and phrases have entered, re-entered and/or have been raised in status in our national lexicon. Vocabulary is dynamic. It evolves. So to ensure survival, periodically, we need to sharpen our vocabulary and become alert to and abreast with current words in the market-place. So periodically, this column will lift the curtain off some of these words.

We’ve been this road before. Just a few weeks ago, we danced to malfeasance on this page. Fact: the Fifth Child of the Fourth Republic has been busy vomiting out and giving birth to rich hot words. So today, come with me to enjoy a dance to only four of such words which are hot in current usage. The words are: Proceed, Truncate, Nod and of course, Saga. These words are of high entertainment value and/or have implications for national underdevelopment.

Proceed: This word has a mighty stature. It simply means, ‘Go-way-you’ so that ‘one of our own’ can replace you. ‘Go where?’ Who cares! Just go, far far away from what you consider to be your position. You might be in control of a public toilet at the lowest level in the armpit of Ghana or a Chief Executive of a state-owned enterprise, department, agency or a public institution of some sort. The same rule applies – “Go-way-you” – which nicely put, is, ‘Proceed.

Proceed is a twin sibling of ‘Aaba ee!’ Accra street hawkers know this painful phenomenon very well. To the target of “Proceed” who is confused, simply ask him/her, “What part of PROCEED don’t you understand?” The unwritten Fourth Republican rule is, “If you’re not ‘one of our own,’ then proceed.” It doesn’t matter what kind of appointment letter you have or the nature of your contract. Proceed means proceed. End of story!

This word is only the first part of what is usually meant to be a complete sentence as in, “Proceed on leave.” And it doesn’t mean that after your leave, you’ll return. You might proceed indefinitely, never to return. But you’ll not be told that part. You could smash into a wall, go hang, roast alive, commit suicide, be crushed by a fast moving train (the few remaining), or be run over by a drunk driver. That’s OK too. The important thing is that you proceed!

If you’re lucky, long after you have proceeded, your salary and most of your benefits might be left intact because someone forgot to ‘truncate’ your name from the pay roll. You could even start a new work life elsewhere on your ‘proceed’ status. It could be a win-win situation for the Proceed Practitioner but definitely, a lose-lose for Ghana. Proceed is one word which we must exorcise from the Fourth Republic. Ghana loses too much while people proceed.

Truncate: From no where, and for no particular reason, truncate has entered our national lexicon. For a while this year, on FM radio stations, truncate gained currency. For instance, you might hear on call-in segments of a radio discussion, “I’ll truncate your comments if you are rude,” or, “Sorry, listeners, the call has truncated.”

The synonyms for truncate include shorten, abbreviate, trim, reduce, slice and prune. The first part of the word truncate is “Trunk” as in the trunk of a tree. So therefore to truncate is to cut off, eat away at the trunk – that is of a tree, from the base. In effect, it means – to take away the life source from the very torso. It’s akin to cutting off the head of a snake instead of the mere tail of a lion. The latter is more tolerable than the former. A headless snake is no snake at all but a ‘tailless’ lion can cause a lot of havoc.

Words have their underlying psychology. They live and breathe. They influence our thinking. So whenever I hear the word truncate being tossed about with reckless abandon, I wonder if an underlying change in national consciousness is occurring. Worst of all, I wonder what is driving this apparent thinning and reduction in patience, tolerance and kindness. I’m at a point of being afraid that if pint-sized me stepped on mighty but delicate toes, I could be truncated and erased into oblivion. That’s scary stuff!

Nod: The first word which kept me laughing for months this year is ‘nod’. A few months ago, I served on a job interview panel with a mix of university graduates (1st and 2nd degrees) and Higher National Diploma holders as job candidates. I bore witness to intellectually wounded young job applicants. Ghana, the beautiful! Ghana, the blessed! God even shed his grace on us with lots and lots of resources. Crude oil is currently being stirred up in the belly of the mighty Atlantic Ocean. So why is our educational system wounding our children? But I digress!

At the interview, some of the candidates zealously used the phrase, “If/when given the nod” with some pronunciations sounding like “the knot”. So out of curiosity, I scrutinized their application letters. To my surprise, some applicants actually spelt nod as knot. They heard the expression earlier this year during parliamentary vetting of ministerial candidates as they desperately made wild promises on how they will make Ghana a better place if/when appointed – ‘given the nod’ or ‘knot’.

Bombarding our ears with one phrase that many number of times for weeks did a thing or two to some of us. It stuck, glued to the mind, and has made it into the streets as a viable personal selling phrase. Some people heard it in variegated colours, so have joined the chorus to say it accordingly, as it floats their funky boats to move an otherwise innocent phrase into a dangerous territory.

Twisted nods probably become knots that need to be loosened. This implies that before a person is given a position of responsibility, the person might be in desperate circumstances, waiting for a breakthrough. The nod therefore becomes part of the process of untwisting the knot and to realise far-fetched dreams – belly-full. After the relief, malfeasance can potentially set in.

Saga: This word existed long long before Moses Asaga was a school boy. The dictionary definition of saga that is most relevant to our usage of the word is: “a long involved story, of heroic achievement”; “a narrative”; “A history of connected books giving the history of a family, etc.”
The extent to which the word ‘saga’ has entrenched itself into our national discourse and used freely to refer to just about everything suggests that we are writing our history. Our stories are connected – a sorry narrative of our dramas.

Named after the Nixon Watergate scandal, we have our own ‘gates.’ They include: M&Jgate, Asagagate, Muntakagate, Sekyi-Hughesgate and Vodafonegate. Whilst the Asaga and Sekyi-Hughes narratives seem to have rested, M&Jgate, Muntakagate and Vodafonegate continue to burp to the surface like alcoholics burp at dawn after a binge.

The way things are going, other ‘gates’ would arrive and the filthy burping will continue. As long as malfeasance has a permanent place in our psyche, the gates will open and strange creatures will rush through the floodgates.