A National Post-Election Crisis Management Plan Needed

Just a month ago, Ghana went through a traumatic post-election experience. For days, parts of Ghana , especially Accra was riddled with debilitating fear (not guns – thank God!). Now, by God’s overflowing grace, we have a President, Vice President and Parliament! This past weekend, thanksgiving services were held by Muslims and Christians to thank God for bringing us through drama and preserving our country.

With our success, Africa, and indeed the world have hailed Ghana ’s elections as peaceful and credible, a rare example and a model for the continent. It is as if the end justifies the means and how we made it does not matter. It should matter! Without a doubt, the 2008 elections brought into sharper focus, zigzagged cracks in a typical African fault-line – ethnicity/tribe.

Since we survived the elections, do we just push things under the carpet and pretend that nothing almost happened in post-election Ghana ? Do we go into denial about last month’s trauma until 2012, 2016, 2020 when, supported by more rounds of bounteous dizzying prayers, we sail through? Do we pretend that we have healed and thank God with prayers and church services and move on? Not so fast!

Election is the central nervous system of a democracy. In fact, without elections by which citizens choose their preferred representatives, the bedrock of democracy will be lacking. We must therefore work towards getting all phases of our elections right, including and probably especially the post-election phase.

But, was Ghana in a post-election crisis? Yes, big crisis – in as much as a crisis is understood to mean a significant disruption in the nation’s business and psyche that stimulated extensive media coverage. Adrenalin rushed across this land with primal fears and anxieties heightened.

A crisis is like a cancer that eats away in hidden parts. But worst of all, crises come in cycles, waiting to be repeated in future. When we do not learn the lessons from previous crises, we run the risk of being caught unawares again and again with devastating consequences. On the contrary, if adequate investment is made into intelligent crisis planning, the positive pay-off can be immense.

This article seeks to ask for a thorough analysis of the trauma this country survived and to set in motion genuine and sustained efforts to plan for future election cycles in order to avert a Kenya-type disaster. Our mantra in response to the 2008 post-election crisis should be: Never again! We can learn and apply the priceless lessons the elections gifted to Ghana . As we move further away from the experience and exhaust all the thanksgiving services, there is the tendency to forget how we felt and by that, reduce the urgency to plan for the future.

Beyond dependence on divine providence through peace marches, all-night vigils and large group Muslim and Christian prayers at the Independence Square and elsewhere, it should be possible to add well-thought out professional stakeholder crisis management plans that is consolidated into a national crisis management plan to avert or at the least, lessen the impact of negative outcomes of future elections. These plans would kick in during elections to reduce or eliminate surprises and get us in a better state of preparedness.

Among others, crisis management entails imagining worst-case scenarios and identifying plausible strategies and tools to either lessen the impact of the crisis or better still, to eliminate the occurrence of the crisis all together. Once a path is identified, practice is organized with key stakeholders on the ‘how-to’ of implementation.

The bedrock of crisis management is intelligent anticipation and eternal vigilance. It is a smart viable alternative to hopeful melancholic complacency. The 2008 election crisis was a scary near-miss and a frightening close-call. The priceless lessons should therefore be analysed and put to good use in future elections. It is nerve-racking to function in a state of panic and confusion while election tension brews and possibly boils over.

What went wrong? A quick narration of key factors that contributed to the post-election trauma is in order here. The sorry role of the media has received much analysis, probably out of context. But the Electoral Commission and the political leadership of this country (ex-President Kufuor, Nana Akufo-Addo and now President Mills) could have done better and in a timely fashion to lessen the unnecessary distress this country endured.

Political parties want one thing only: to win. Some may not even care by what means they attain the much desired win. In typical fashion, functionaries of the NPP and NDC waged a psychological warfare on Ghana in desperate efforts to win. They were manipulative. They made up and/or exaggerated stories to suit their agenda. Any loss of guard by the media resulted in falsehoods and rumours passing through media gate-keeping into the public domain, neatly or oddly packaged as facts.

For the political parties, the period of uncertainties was a period of war – war of lies, manipulation, cranked-up propaganda and massive scheming. If they had desired, and if they had it in them, they could have for instance, persuaded their supporters not to congregate to heighten tensions and with sincerity, asked them to calm down in a more persuasive manner than the lame rhetoric they disseminated.

Despite the poison planted by the political parties through the media, there were periods when it felt as if there were no elders in this county. No information came through. No elders spoke. Ghana was left to function on auto-pilot as if we were waiting for the tide to turn us in any direction. The silence was loud and deafening, and portended gloom and doom. The lull felt like the calm that comes before the storm.

Despite the unprecedented eerie tension, national leadership – Nana Akufo-Addo and Professor Mills, but especially then President Kufuor were too slow in showing much needed and urgent leadership. President Kufuor should have spoken to the nation much earlier than he did because at that critical point, he was not an NPP but the leader of Ghana . Religious leaders and the National Peace Council were equally slow in speaking peace to Ghana .

During the heated election period, especially prior to the presidential election run-off, I received several telephone calls and text messages from President Kufuor, Nana Akufo-Addo and Prof Mills pleading for my vote apparently for their personal gains. So undoubtedly, the leaders of this country understand the tremendous power of one-on-one communication and especially the pervasive new information technologies. But during the frightening lull, they ignored communication that has the force to speak to the minds and hearts of people.

The Electoral Commission’s unique role: As an outsider looking in, it appeared that the EC managed the communication component of the just-ended elections in a business-as-usual fashion. That worked in the past. Unfortunately, the 2008 elections turned out to be business-unusual and therefore needed a sharper, more alert, responsive, proactive and reactive communication efforts than was provided. But sadly, the EC had no crisis management posture. It casually floated with the tide.

It is troubling to acknowledge that part of the reason our country got on the brink of a melt-down was due to poor communication planning and implementation. For instance, during some of the nail-biting moments when information was needed the most, radio and TV reporters expressed frustration about the unavailability of the EC’s public relations staffers to answer questions. That obviously added to heightening the tension in the country.

No communication in itself communicates a great deal. The absence of communication can confuse, confirm suspicions and reinforce fears. Granted, that some information high-times were in the evenings, after-hours. During crises, communicators do not ‘close’ as long as information consumers remain hungry, waiting to be fed.

Also, rumour management appeared to be non-existent during the post-election period. Factual information is both a balm and a slayer of rumours. Some of the post-election rumours could have been responded to promptly by the EC since they had staff on the ground to investigate. In an environment that is choked with rumours, the best approach is to counter them with unalloyed undistorted facts disseminated by credible sources.

To manage elections, the EC’s communication staffers must therefore be available around the clock, especially throughout the high-tension periods of releasing election results. They must monitor the media to know the nature of rumour life. It should be unacceptable for them to close from work when the nation sits on tenterhooks, awaiting results, and indeed when the mass media hunger for news. Information delayed, in this regard, is tantamount to information denied with needless consequences.

To save this country from a similar, or even a worse ordeal in future elections, the EC needs to proactively develop a crisis communication management plan. They should not assume that all will be well, remembering that Murphy’s Law dictates that ‘everything that can go wrong can go wrong.”

The writer is a communications consultant

dorisdartey@yahoo.com; dorisdartey.blogspot.com

A National Post-Election Crisis Management Plan Needed

Just a month ago, Ghana went through a traumatic post-election experience. For days, parts of Ghana , especially Accra was riddled with debilitating fear (not guns – thank God!). Now, by God’s overflowing grace, we have a President, Vice President and Parliament! This past weekend, thanksgiving services were held by Muslims and Christians to thank God for bringing us through drama and preserving our country.

With our success, Africa, and indeed the world have hailed Ghana ’s elections as peaceful and credible, a rare example and a model for the continent. It is as if the end justifies the means and how we made it does not matter. It should matter! Without a doubt, the 2008 elections brought into sharper focus, zigzagged cracks in a typical African fault-line – ethnicity/tribe.

Since we survived the elections, do we just push things under the carpet and pretend that nothing almost happened in post-election Ghana ? Do we go into denial about last month’s trauma until 2012, 2016, 2020 when, supported by more rounds of bounteous dizzying prayers, we sail through? Do we pretend that we have healed and thank God with prayers and church services and move on? Not so fast!

Election is the central nervous system of a democracy. In fact, without elections by which citizens choose their preferred representatives, the bedrock of democracy will be lacking. We must therefore work towards getting all phases of our elections right, including and probably especially the post-election phase.

But, was Ghana in a post-election crisis? Yes, big crisis – in as much as a crisis is understood to mean a significant disruption in the nation’s business and psyche that stimulated extensive media coverage. Adrenalin rushed across this land with primal fears and anxieties heightened.

A crisis is like a cancer that eats away in hidden parts. But worst of all, crises come in cycles, waiting to be repeated in future. When we do not learn the lessons from previous crises, we run the risk of being caught unawares again and again with devastating consequences. On the contrary, if adequate investment is made into intelligent crisis planning, the positive pay-off can be immense.

This article seeks to ask for a thorough analysis of the trauma this country survived and to set in motion genuine and sustained efforts to plan for future election cycles in order to avert a Kenya-type disaster. Our mantra in response to the 2008 post-election crisis should be: Never again! We can learn and apply the priceless lessons the elections gifted to Ghana . As we move further away from the experience and exhaust all the thanksgiving services, there is the tendency to forget how we felt and by that, reduce the urgency to plan for the future.

Beyond dependence on divine providence through peace marches, all-night vigils and large group Muslim and Christian prayers at the Independence Square and elsewhere, it should be possible to add well-thought out professional stakeholder crisis management plans that is consolidated into a national crisis management plan to avert or at the least, lessen the impact of negative outcomes of future elections. These plans would kick in during elections to reduce or eliminate surprises and get us in a better state of preparedness.

Among others, crisis management entails imagining worst-case scenarios and identifying plausible strategies and tools to either lessen the impact of the crisis or better still, to eliminate the occurrence of the crisis all together. Once a path is identified, practice is organized with key stakeholders on the ‘how-to’ of implementation.

The bedrock of crisis management is intelligent anticipation and eternal vigilance. It is a smart viable alternative to hopeful melancholic complacency. The 2008 election crisis was a scary near-miss and a frightening close-call. The priceless lessons should therefore be analysed and put to good use in future elections. It is nerve-racking to function in a state of panic and confusion while election tension brews and possibly boils over.

What went wrong? A quick narration of key factors that contributed to the post-election trauma is in order here. The sorry role of the media has received much analysis, probably out of context. But the Electoral Commission and the political leadership of this country (ex-President Kufuor, Nana Akufo-Addo and now President Mills) could have done better and in a timely fashion to lessen the unnecessary distress this country endured.

Political parties want one thing only: to win. Some may not even care by what means they attain the much desired win. In typical fashion, functionaries of the NPP and NDC waged a psychological warfare on Ghana in desperate efforts to win. They were manipulative. They made up and/or exaggerated stories to suit their agenda. Any loss of guard by the media resulted in falsehoods and rumours passing through media gate-keeping into the public domain, neatly or oddly packaged as facts.

For the political parties, the period of uncertainties was a period of war – war of lies, manipulation, cranked-up propaganda and massive scheming. If they had desired, and if they had it in them, they could have for instance, persuaded their supporters not to congregate to heighten tensions and with sincerity, asked them to calm down in a more persuasive manner than the lame rhetoric they disseminated.

Despite the poison planted by the political parties through the media, there were periods when it felt as if there were no elders in this county. No information came through. No elders spoke. Ghana was left to function on auto-pilot as if we were waiting for the tide to turn us in any direction. The silence was loud and deafening, and portended gloom and doom. The lull felt like the calm that comes before the storm.

Despite the unprecedented eerie tension, national leadership – Nana Akufo-Addo and Professor Mills, but especially then President Kufuor were too slow in showing much needed and urgent leadership. President Kufuor should have spoken to the nation much earlier than he did because at that critical point, he was not an NPP but the leader of Ghana . Religious leaders and the National Peace Council were equally slow in speaking peace to Ghana .

During the heated election period, especially prior to the presidential election run-off, I received several telephone calls and text messages from President Kufuor, Nana Akufo-Addo and Prof Mills pleading for my vote apparently for their personal gains. So undoubtedly, the leaders of this country understand the tremendous power of one-on-one communication and especially the pervasive new information technologies. But during the frightening lull, they ignored communication that has the force to speak to the minds and hearts of people.

The Electoral Commission’s unique role: As an outsider looking in, it appeared that the EC managed the communication component of the just-ended elections in a business-as-usual fashion. That worked in the past. Unfortunately, the 2008 elections turned out to be business-unusual and therefore needed a sharper, more alert, responsive, proactive and reactive communication efforts than was provided. But sadly, the EC had no crisis management posture. It casually floated with the tide.

It is troubling to acknowledge that part of the reason our country got on the brink of a melt-down was due to poor communication planning and implementation. For instance, during some of the nail-biting moments when information was needed the most, radio and TV reporters expressed frustration about the unavailability of the EC’s public relations staffers to answer questions. That obviously added to heightening the tension in the country.

No communication in itself communicates a great deal. The absence of communication can confuse, confirm suspicions and reinforce fears. Granted, that some information high-times were in the evenings, after-hours. During crises, communicators do not ‘close’ as long as information consumers remain hungry, waiting to be fed.

Also, rumour management appeared to be non-existent during the post-election period. Factual information is both a balm and a slayer of rumours. Some of the post-election rumours could have been responded to promptly by the EC since they had staff on the ground to investigate. In an environment that is choked with rumours, the best approach is to counter them with unalloyed undistorted facts disseminated by credible sources.

To manage elections, the EC’s communication staffers must therefore be available around the clock, especially throughout the high-tension periods of releasing election results. They must monitor the media to know the nature of rumour life. It should be unacceptable for them to close from work when the nation sits on tenterhooks, awaiting results, and indeed when the mass media hunger for news. Information delayed, in this regard, is tantamount to information denied with needless consequences.

To save this country from a similar, or even a worse ordeal in future elections, the EC needs to proactively develop a crisis communication management plan. They should not assume that all will be well, remembering that Murphy’s Law dictates that ‘everything that can go wrong can go wrong.”

The writer is a communications consultant

dorisdartey@yahoo.com; dorisdartey.blogspot.com

Bold Predictions for Ghana 2009

I own a crystal ball. It’s hidden under my bed. Occasionally, I take it out, shake it hard and look into the future. Yesterday was the first time in three years I’ve removed it from its safe shadowy corner. I did a reading for Ghana 2009. I present here, the real-time on-the-spot audacious predictions. The following commonsense non-divine forecasts span across the political, social and health landscapes. At the end of the year, this column will return to these predictions to see how my crystal ball fared.

Dear reader, please don’t contact me to give you a personal reading because I’ve returned the crystal ball back to its dim comfort place, far underneath my bed. Contact your pastor for spiritual matters, not me!

Religious Matters: The National Peace Council would be very busy, piecing grumpy Jerry and grouchy John together over their age-old cantankerous relational feud. Fact: the John (Kufuor) and Jerry (Rawlings) drama has just entered a grand phase, in the process of becoming schizophrenic. This year, their relationship will grow wings and fangs. Worst of all, instead of getting busy as elder statesmen to build useful and edifying legacy projects like Presidential Libraries, John and Jerry and their cronies will drag us innocent hungry folks into their life dramas although we were not part of their good old days. So Bishops, Archbishops, Reverend Fathers and Peace Council elders, get your prayer gowns on. There’s work ahead.

Cholera Outbreak: Expect a cholera outbreak to hit parts of Accra, Tema and Kumasi around April. The eye of the storm will be in the mega-city of Accra. It will be triggered by the rainy season. The handwriting has been on the wall for a long time but in April, the centre will no longer hold and people will visibly suffer over our insane sanitation situation.

There’s ‘bola’ everywhere, mounting. The decentralised assemblies are overwhelmed and under-funded. With the rains, leachate (fluid from garbage) will build-up and snake around hungrily, entering already filthily choked-utters and water-ways. Due to open dumping of refuse, water and food will be contaminated, leading to the cholera outbreak. It will occur at a time when the government is so dazed, just coming out of an eventful honeymoon. Meanwhile, it has been discovered that Ghana is broke!

Honeymoon: Honey does not last forever. When you eat and lick out honey from the moon, it runs out. That’s just the way life goes. Political-honeymoons have a hundred-day lifespan. The honeymoon of the groom (Mills) and his bride (Ghana) will end on April 16. Virginity was lost in earnest on January 7 during the poorly-organized swearing-in ceremony at the Independence Square. The relationship is currently in very active mode, full-swing with all the intrigues, petty disagreements, veiled insults and bizarre looks from the far end corner of the left eye.

Promises made during courtships should not be taken seriously because they are made in the heat of foolish passion. But this over-defiled bride (Ghana) is stubborn and will make demands. She has been taken before, many times and by many grooms – the good, the bad, the rascal, and the very ugly.

So look out for honeymoon dramas borne out of bride disappointments. Issues like the reduction of petrol prices and other half-baked, little thought-out, passion-driven, vote-hungry campaign promises made by the groom would trigger cat-fights. So in no time, the groom (Mills) will be de-flowered and rendered butt-naked. He will experience chop-money problems and the painful dilemma of how to keep this over-raped bride happy. It won’t be easy. No kid gloves in this matter.

Witch-hunting: Closely related to the honeymoon prediction is a political witch-hunting prediction. It will be more of wizard-hunting than hunting for witches since it’s mostly men who occupy sensitive political positions while women cook and clean and serve men as secretaries. Damn! Don’t be fooled when during the early days of the Mills administration, you heard assurances that there’ll be no witch-hunting. There’ll be; lots of them. Things will get ugly; very ugly. The NDC and NPP deep disdain for each other will shine through brightly and it will not be pretty.

People in the just-ended NPP administration who smeared their hands, elbows, legs and clothes with state-owned palm oil fuga fuga should get nervous (if they are not already). Fact: there is prime vacancy at Nsawam prison. It’s ‘air conditioned’ with tiny windows and high walls. Remember, Tsatsu Tsikata just made a grand exit. Since nature abhors vacuums, the witch-hunting will generously find high-powered replacements. My crystal ball has disclosed the list of Tsatsu’s replacements but if I divulge the names to you, I would have to kill you. So please don’t push me to tell you.

NPP Battles: NPP deep-wound licking will occur openly throughout the year 2009. People are deeply hurt. People have lost their investments of undisclosed sums from undisclosed sources to finance an expensive campaign. Now, they are depressed with no one to turn to, to recoup losses. Sadly, they won’t even see the crude oil money with their naked eyes. Owing to the deep hurt, some deep secrets will leak out, recklessly. Open your ears to hear the salacious details. I can’t wait for the sensationally mucky juicy details! This will be so much fun. Pay particular attention to NDC-friendly newspapers and Radio Gold. Shine your eyes and remove the clogs from your ears. Enjoy while you cry for Ghana.

NDC Power Struggles: The NDC will show beyond a grain of doubt that it consists of both heady and gentle factions. The extremists will openly fight with the moderates. Our newspapers and FM stations will gleefully carry the smears of the fights to distract Ghana in its fragile developmental efforts. To save yourself, dodge so you don’t get caught in the cross-fires. It’s very painful to be hit by stray bullets. You’ll be told simply, ‘Oops! It wasn’t meant for you!” By then, it will be too late.

There will also be many incoherent boom speeches this year. They will be hoarse. You must stay calm, pay attention, put on your thinking caps to deconstruct the action-packed boom speeches if you’re to succeed in picking out any gems.
1992 Constitution: This is the beginning of the 17th year of the 1992 Constitution.

It is of age; a male with beard, nostril hairs and leathery deep voice. One area in which the Constitution will be tested at the seams is freedom of speech and its accompanying press freedom. Some NDC extremists will try to suppress the freedoms Ghanaians have been enjoying and taking for granted. And we’ll get mad; so mad that some folks will head to court with law suits. With that, ambitious lawyers will get good cases to test the 1992 Constitution. In related matters, the National Media Commission will be very busy, addressing media complaints.

Women and Children: By December, the number of children hanging out by roadsides selling made-in-China goods will increase and our leaders will not care. The eye-of-the-storm will be between Kufuor and Rawlings Junctions. Also, by December, the sleeping lady-Goliath, the 31st December Women’s Movement would wake up, fully adorned for action. Conveniently, the Ministry of Women and Children would be dissolved and the 31st ladies would re-fill the vacuum.

dorisdartey@yahoo.com; dorisdartey.blogspot.com

How pomposity cost the NPP election 2008: An Outsider's View

Published: January 31, 2009

The mighty elephant is making a slow re-entry into the dark forest, bruised and bleeding – with head bowed in distress. In the absence of campaign finance laws, business folks freely invest heavily in political parties. When their party wins, they harvest big time and by that, perpetuate the plundering of a country, and continue chewing off the tail of the rabbit. One day, we’ll wake up to find out that this rabbit has been rendered tailless while the country is under siege just because we voted; while we sing kumbaya to whoever is in power.

Today, I give my cold take on why the NPP suffered a painful maddening narrow defeat in election 2008. I’m neither an NPP nor NDC because I don’t yet understand what the two leading political parties stand for. In a previous article, I nominated an NDC functionary for a hooliganism award and an NPP minister for a pomposity award.

Today, I extend the pomposity argument as the underlying factor in the NPP loss. We’ll watch out for wanton displays of hooliganism by NDC functionaries without locus who confuse democracy with revolution.

Questions: What in the world does ‘property-owning democracy’ mean? The NPP never succeeded in defining their ‘ideology’, leaving a vacuum for guessing. Why is the NPP fashioned after the Republicans of the USA (in ideology and the elephant symbol) that is perceived as filthily rich but mean? What happens to those of us who are stuck in the stinky cracks of other people’s properties?

In the final weeks of the campaign, in a defining fit of political suicide, Jake Obetsebi-Lamptey put out an ugly face with lush lipstick to the fuzzy property-owning philosophy. He had no justification to his greedy insensitive low-cost attempt to buy a government house in which he had over-stayed his time as an ex-minister. That act was a grim reality to further underlie the property-grabbing attitudes of materialistic insatiable privileged leaders against everyday-people.

The reality of the Ghanaian situation is that we have agonizing poverty that oddly thrives alongside spectacular wealth. But the poor also yearn for the same things the rich have. When shiny four-wheel-drive vehicles emerge from grand properties and throw dust into the nostrils of non-property owners, it touches the soft core of people and triggers in them a need for change – any change.

Do rising tides lift all boats? No! Rising tides do not even touch every boat. And if it does, some do not have access to boats to be lifted up. Many drown or become stuck in the mud when rising tides get anywhere near them. Clearly, the NPP missed this fact so focused on macro-level economic successes. Who chops distant far-reaching macro-economics? It’s only micro that enters the mouth. InterCity STC busses were brazenly clothed with bragging messages about NPP government macro successes. That and the ostentatious giant-sized billboards and glitzy media advertisements were below the belt; too pompous.

NPP campaign slogan(s) were uninspiring and confusing. The songs were danceable but drumming our ears with lyrics like “Nana is a winner” was dumb. How does one win an election before the first vote is cast? That was an elephant-like complacent ‘bragadaciously’ pompous posture! When Samuel Essien and the Black Stars did the ugly ‘kangaroo dance’, it was a midstream victory dance. The ultimate prize eluded them. So it was for the NPP; kangaroo dance or not, victory was only close. With victory, almost doesn’t count.

The NPP laid its foundation for failure during its opulent primaries in 2007 when it fielded a host of characters. Some were still wrapped in political diapers, suckling pathetically at their mama’s breasts. Men and boys checked themselves, and their mirrors said, “President!” The party clearly had no elders to stop the desperate bizarre displays of wealth by half-baked politicians. This concretized the widely-held suspicion that politics is an ass and anyone who gets in can amass wealth at the expense of the many hungry everyday-people.

In the face of such painful realities and rampant perception of the NPP and Nana as being arrogant, ex-President Kufuor did the unthinkable a few months before the elections. In one of the many needless reshuffles, he appointed the grand-ole face and voice of arrogance, Minister Asamoah-Boteng, as head of government propaganda machinery – the Ministry of Information and National Orientation. A definite political suicide!

Rabble-rousing Asabee went on a rampage, heckling and bulldozing his way through with incendiary rhetoric, without pausing to give ‘taflatse’ to anyone. Loose talk became the bedrock of government public relations. It was not just the content of his utterances but the rashness and edginess in his voice needed several ‘taflatses’. Many times, Asabee sounded more like an ugly piece of cloth cut out from military dictatorship. Was this an intentional act of ex-Prez Kufuor to weaken his party? The NPP incumbency was proudly clothed in a nasty outfit of pomposity.

There was also the Kufuor factor. He had no communication team. His spokesperson, George Awuni, usually came across as insulting, speaking down to Ghana – a carbon copy of Asabee. Besides, ex-Prez Kufuor was an absentee leader, appearing detached. Personally, I can’t comprehend how he conscientiously drove past increasing numbers of street children between his junction and the Castle without boldly solving this problem that scars our country.

Question: What was the reasoning for ex-Prez Kufuor’s ‘apologies’ to Ghana just before the December 28 presidential run-of? The content was good but the timing was horrible, rendering its effect just bad.

There was also the Nana factor. People appear to have very strong feelings about Nana Akufo-Addo. Some people just love to hate him for arrogance. Besides, he never fully dealt with the association of his name with drugs. Rumours grew wings and he was guilty as charged in a section of the court of public opinion. Question: What was the source of his campaign funds? Such unanswered questions left a thick cloud hanging over the NPP. On a personal note, Nana’s superbly acquired English accent is too affected for me to fathom.

Conclusion: the NPP had a problem before the first vote was cast even with the fear of Rawlings’ shadow looming large. OK, that’s enough; the frog is dead and its ugly long legs are fully stretched out. I’ve given the NPP enough free analysis although when they had ‘power’ and plundered and shared their booty, I had nothing to do with it. Not a single drop of juicy palm oil dropped on my tired old tongue. No regrets though. I’ll maintain my independence and keep my head up. The elephant should therefore stay in the thick dark forest and learn.

Meanwhile, the NDC now has the benefit of incumbency with Rawlings’ persona still looming large, booming through even Kotoka International Airport while strange skeletons like Ghana@50 are popping out of NPP corruption closets. We’ll watch to see how the NDC displays its version of power drunkenness and hooliganism borne out of coup mentality. Isn’t democracy beautiful?

dorisdartey@yahoo.com; dorisdartey.blogspot.com

Let’s Go Shopping with Sixty Million Ghana Cedis

Fact: I came from nothing. Whenever I pinch myself, I surface back at my roots – sleepy villages which have remained in a state of life-support since Abraham was a school boy and Sarah was a little virgin girl who found herself betrothed to the guy who later became ‘Father Abraham’. Real progress has passed my people by. The saddest is my initial root, Ocansey Kope. Those days, when we had to go, we went at the then pristine beach or under coconut trees with little black pigs scuttling around impatiently, grunting – to pick up.

Things have not changed much beyond the arrival of Christianity that clashes fiercely with the calico-clothed fetish shrine. Oh, the beach is filthy now with ‘civilization’ – ugly multi-coloured plastic waste that the Atlantic Ocean vomits out which have rudely interlocked the white sands. Dear reader, you know your own roots. Pinch yourself right now and your deep repressed memories will return – fast and furious. Oh, not good, eh?

With our roots as backdrop, let’s go shopping with sixty million Ghana cedis. Yes, sixty million! Ocansey Kope is on the Ada coastline, frozen in time 52 years after Independence. Growing up, with cassava-stick legs, I fetched water from a communal well at the village entrance. Today, I’m privileged, still have cassava-stick legs, but live in Accra and fetch water from a neighbourhood well.

A strange development in the Kope is the number of young people who just sit by the roadside, absent-mindedly, waiting – and watching vehicles that pass by. Waiting for what? How about your own roots? Education came to me by chance; no, by God’s grace! Those I left behind are over-aged now; shrivelled, with teeth lost and/or rotten. Hope passed them by long ago.

Let’s go shopping with your memories refreshed. What would you do with sixty million Ghana cedis (or dollars) if you were asked? In the past few weeks, sixty million Ghana cedis have been brandied about with reckless abandon as if it was a child’s play. We’re told that the magic amount of sixty million and some more was spent in celebrating Ghana@50. What a party! And the conversion of Nkrumah’s Flagstaff House into a Golden Jubilee House (Palace) is also estimated to have cost another sixty million Ghana cedis, and some more – still counting.

In short, when Ghana turned half a century old, we went crazy on a spending spree despite the reality of Bukom, Ocansey Kope, Obosomase, Keta, Agona Bisease, Kekam, Oppong Valley, Walewale and Tegbi.

Try this: go on an imaginary shopping spree with the golden sixty million Ghana cedis. Have fun doing it. So, what would you buy if you were to lose your mind over 60 million dough? What silly things would you do with that kind of money? Supposing you were a President or an important minister of something something something, what would you do with the nation’s money if it was entrusted to you?

I’m crazy about shoes, especially, high-heeled shoes. I’m vertically challenged, not much above the ground but by means of cheap high-heeled shoes, I can easily gain two or more inches upwards. So supposing I take a bag with 60 million Ghana cedis only and hit the road on a shopping spree. I’ll travel the world to buy shoes of different colours, shapes and tastes. I’ll shop until I drop. I’ll be tempted to take friends and relatives along to help me blow the big money.

You might call me irresponsible or think I’ve lost my little mind. You’ll wonder: don’t I see all the children who need to go to school? My bad-side might insensitively respond – “They are not my children so why should I care?” And you’ll boom back at me, “You despicable little woman!” And I’ll respond, “Didn’t our leaders see all those children by the roadside when they went shopping with our sixty million Ghana cedis?”

Two things drive people to go on shopping sprees: belly-full or folly. For instance, it is said that when a country’s economy is on a downward spiral, lipstick and alcohol sales go up. That suggests that women resort to buying and using make-up to feel good while men hit the bottles to forget their financial woes. Clearly, Ghana’s expenditure at age 50 was not a matter of belly-full. It sounds more like folly in the absence of pinching ourselves to remember the reality of our situation.

Another school of thought is that we shouldn’t wait to solve our funky poverty problems before embarking on mega projects. This sounds more like, "The chicken and the egg, which came first?" dilemma. But if a mega project is estimated to cost 20 million Ghana cedis and it ends up costing three/four/five times the amount, one can’t help but suspect if that astronomical expenditure was not the motive to start with. Are our leaders forgetful of their roots, have they misplaced our priorities, or they have undiagnosed insecurities and are perfect candidates for psychological analysis?

Call me backward because of my low-cost roots. I just don’t understand how we don’t feel shame that Ghana stands 51st only ahead of Chad, Niger and Eritrea on the continent when it comes to sanitation but yet, we find nothing wrong with building a presidential palace with an open-ended expenditure. Why 50 plus years ago, I used to defecate at the beach and under coconut trees but yet, in the Ghanaian Times of February 2, 2009, it is reported that around-the-clock open defecation occurs in the neighbourhood of Kwame Nkrumah Circle (Odaw River) in Accra?

The Golden Jubilee House and Ghana@50 were ‘nice’ projects. Many well-placed people I spoke to during the period justified them. Some reasons were: The country needed to revive its soul to feel good, and then for bonus, upgrade its international image. That sounds like a sorry case of mid-life crisis. Now, what? How good do we feel now? I feel horrible after the big birthday bash. I’m suffering from a hang-over that won’t go away. Don’t you? Lesson: feeling good temporarily is sheer folly.

Here is my prudent shopping list which I trust can have a more lasting feel-good experience and a real common-good advantage. This is a shopping-list compiled on an empty stomach, not belly-full. They include schools, hospitals and sanitation facilities. Reason: after almost 52 years, we still have ‘pretence schools’ with children who sit or lie under trees and pretend to study. Many study ICT without computers and with teachers who know nothing beyond a mouse.

Our hospitals are death traps, waiting with gaping mouths to swallow us. They are ill-equipped with some without basic facilities. We rather pretend that with a National Health Insurance Scheme that is grounded on an empty promise of a low-cost health system, all is well. In computer parlance, we forget “garbage in, garbage out” (GIGO). Our glorious leaders therefore rush abroad to take care of their belly-full ailments. Some die and are returned as cargo for grand funerals. Damn!

Meanwhile, Ghana’s average life-expectancy continues to decrease sharply but we’ll rather not focus on that. We gleefully engaged in big lies. Having a big senseless national 50th birthday party and building gargantuan prestige projects are beyond folly. Well, there’s probably something about getting ‘up there’ in higher public office that makes one get big ideas, so big that one’s memory is fogged. Go figure!

dorisdartey@yahoo.com; dorisdartey.blogspot.com

Daddy, Sexism, Ayariga and the Dead Frog

Published on February 14, 2009

Harmattan is a perfect weather for these transitional times. What the two have in common are dust and unpredictability. Everyday, it appears, there’s some hot news. No matter what else is going on in your personal life, don’t miss early morning radio talk shows, as well as mid-day and 6 pm news. They are power-packed and juicy. Yummy! These are fascinating times to be alive in Ghana. But, stay clear of trouble! FYI: This is the 36th day of President Mills’ 100-Day Honeymoon.

Daddy Matters: On becoming President, Professor Mills assured Ghanaians that he would be president and father to us all. I’m a fatherless child so I gladly accepted the Daddy offer. So it’s official: my Daddy is a President. Hurrah! Daddy, my mother is ‘Eve’ Beatrice Naa Agyele Ansah Israel of Obosomase.

Here are a few honest innocent enduring questions to my Daddy the President, from a good daughter of Eve. Does the founder and father of Daddy’s party, ex-President Jerry John Rawlings, come under the Daddy umbrella? Or he is excluded and rather, is father to Prez Mills? Does this country now have two co-fathers? Or, there is a father and a grandfather?

How is Daddy managing Rawlings’ boom talks? As an ex-professor, when would Daddy profess something about this troubling matter that, like a bad sore, is growing on us? Daddy, I own a beautiful ‘akapompo’ (academic gown) and would gladly lend it to you to wear and look very imposing on the D-Day you profess to ex-Prez Rawlings. I offer to be your cheer leader, just a silly little fly on the wall. Suggestion: You guys should handle family matters privately. This country urgently needs you to show us, without a grain of doubt, that you are your ‘own man’.

Castle or Jubilee House? It appears that the Golden Jubilee House will remain a ‘White Elephant’ for several years. Why? An interesting additional estimate of GH¢12 million is needed to complete it. Damn! How the NDC administration would justify that expenditure remains to be seen, especially since “Ghana is broke”.

How about if we turn it into a tourist attraction? Every car that drives in front should pay tolls since passengers stare at it. Every look at our white elephant should be at a cost. Or, better still, it should be handed over to the Tourist Board for people to enter and pay for seeing the insides of the edifice.

I had been waiting for my President to engage in co-habitation in a palace. I had hoped, in my wildest dreams, to sneak in to drink tea – sorry, cocoa! I was planning to tour the palace and look around so I’ll have stories to share with my two grand daughters. But lo and behold, my Daddy President moved into the slave castle. The palace is too controversial. They say that Professor President is a very simple kind of guy and not the type who will get overly excited about palaces. So our 60 plus million Ghana cedis went down the tubes? That really hurts.

The Osu Castle will remain the seat of Government for a long time to come. Since it was built by the Dutch in 1652 and used for trading in gold, ivory and slaves, how many people have lost their lives in that castle and their bodies thrown into the sea? Sweet Jesus! I see ghosts! I see dead people! Scary! How many women have been raped in that castle? How many unwanted pregnancies? How many dirty slaps from high and mighty leaders have landed painfully on the tender cheeks of many low and sorry everyday-people?

Ayariga and Presidential-Speak: Mr Ayariga has taken the art of speaking on behalf of a person to a level that is at once overwhelming and abusive. Anytime he refers to President Mills, he precedes it with, “His Excellency, the President”. He really speaks the man. Ayariga is a Mills-speaker. He is almost inside the mouth of the President. The President doesn’t have to speak because Ayariga has got his mouth. Did GIMPA organize a workshop for him on how to excel at this art? Well, then all Ghanaians should attend the same workshop so we can all be on the same page.

Fact: The presidency is not a chief’s palace. And Ayariga is not the linguist of the chief. Too much of “His Excellency, the President” sounds like hero worshipping. Already, we do too much of hero-worshipping so we do not need Ayariga to entrench it further in our psyche. Because we tend to worship our leaders, we are disabled from asking them the tough questions that will keep them on their toes, and do right by Ghana. When you’re so beholden to someone and place him/her on a mighty throne, how do you hold him/her accountable?

Ayariga is wearing me out. However, despite the irritation of over-doing the Mills-speak, he is a fresh voice on the presidential spokesperson scene. He sounds like a sweet soul, even a sweetheart. Not too long ago, ex-President Kufuor had a spokesman by name of Andrew Awuni. He wore me out – with arrogance. So Ayariga, beyond over-doing “His Excellency, the President, please don’t you ever change. Keep it this slow and sweet and soft for us.

Sexism in Parliament: During the vetting of Akua Sena Dansua as Minister of Women and Children Affairs, two male parliamentarians shamelessly displayed sexism in their line of questioning. It is scandalous that our law-makers would make an issue out of Akua’s low-cropped ‘unpermed’ natural hair cut. Fact: a hair cut is definitely a non-occupational issue. That question was not just silly, but must be illegal.

What has a woman‘s hair cut got to do with anything? Isn’t it enough that a woman, despite all the numerous odds, has done much for herself and is boldly rubbing shoulders with men in high places? Must she also keep her hair in a way that fits in with parliamentarian’s perceptions of what a woman should look like? Surprisingly, neither the Appointments Committee’s Chairman nor any of the members raised an objection to such a low-cost line of questioning. Parliamentarians, please allow ’the daughters of Eve’ to just be. They are too engendered in your midst.

Prison Reform: Tsatsu Tsikata is God’s gift for prison reform. From his misfortune and pain of spending five months at Nsawam Prison, Ghana will have a relentlessly passionate advocate for the unfortunate forgotten voiceless who are languishing in stinky holes.

Dead Frog: It’s really true that it’s only when a frog dies that you can tell its true length. The dead frog – the NPP administration – has been dead for only 36 days and its super long ugly legs are sticking out in the streets. The rottenness which had remained hidden in the folded legs of the erstwhile living frog, are being exposed day-by-day.

The roll-out of the frog legs are paraded in stories of corruption, favouritism and nepotism. Take for instance, the story of ‘affordable houses’ meant for low- and middle-income workers, some of which were shared among NPP leaders and side-kicks. Ghana, this fine lady, has become the victim of multiple gang rape.
Meanwhile, we wait for change to happen. Hail, Change!

dorisdartey@yahoo.com

Smoking out Accra residents with toxins

Increasingly, when I’m away from my bedroom, I feel like a rat. If you’re an Accra resident, you must be feeling that way too. But we’re not rats so why are we being given the rat-smoke treatment? After all, rats are candidates to be smoked out of holes for soup or placed on sorry crucifixes to be paraded for sale by roadsides. Where are we supposed to go after we’ve been smoked out of Accra? To the cemetery – frothing at the mouth with smoke-filled lungs!

I want to see my insides, specifically my oesophagus all the way into my lungs. I also want to see the insides of Police Officers who spend hours by the roadside to direct traffic (and for bonus, collect petty bribes), and of our children who literally live by busy roadsides selling whatever they lay hands on. With the rampant smoke inhalation, our insides can’t be pretty. Most likely, there are multi-coloured blotches, bumps and scar tissues here and there. Our own country is killing us softly, with toxic smoke.

There are two major sources of toxic smoke: emissions from smoke-haemorrhaging vehicles and the indiscriminate burning of an odd-medley of garbage. They are both illegal acts, according to AMA bye-laws. But we flout the rules not caring a hoot because the rules are not enforced. Just collect your garbage and torch it; no one will stop you. Or, like pulling off a trigger, drive your smoke-puffing vehicle and zoom off, even by police officers, and you will be let off. Will these lawless, criminal acts go on forever? Accra is transforming very fast, but in ways which do not make sense. Accra is a dysfunctional city.

Here are some frightening facts about toxic smoke. It has harmful effects on human health and the environment. Vehicular smoke emissions and the burning of garbage, especially man-made substances like plastics, rubber and foam-type disposable containers (‘take-away’ food trays and cups) release toxins into the atmosphere. Some of these chemicals are absorbed into the body through the skin and nostrils. Smoke not meant for humans therefore make grand entrance, unhindered, to find resting places in our bodies.

The repercussions from an accumulation of toxins in the human body are many. For instance, they can be passed on to unborn babies. Some settle in water-ways and on crops, and get into our food. An online fact sheet of the Women in Europe for a Common Future (WECF) states that such toxins increase the risk of heart disease, cause rashes, trigger off headaches, damage the nervous system, kidney and liver, and affect the reproductive and development system.

Enters Dr Edith Clarke of the Environmental Health unit of the Ghana Health Services. She maintains that the garbage we burn emits persistent organic pollutants like carbon and sulphur dioxide which remain in the environment for several years. Persistent means that like rascals, these chemicals are stubborn, determined, relentless and ruthless. Once they enter the human body, they stay put until they do whatever damage they have the potency to cause. These pollutants cause cancer and aggravate respiratory ailments like pneumonia, asthma and bronchitis. Scary stuff!

A 2008 US study found that air pollutants from vehicle smoke fumes mimic the damaging effects of cigarette smoke in humans. Non-smokers could therefore develop tobacco-related diseases like lung cancer. So for breathing in these pollutants, we are at risk for cardio-pulmonary and many other not-so-nice diseases.

Since as a country we don’t plan to make a journey into outer space anytime soon, messily sending our smoke into the atmosphere might be our own nauseous way of touching the hallowed face of God. Our many high-octane Christian pretenders should ponder over this: Does God appreciate our smoke to mess up the stunning firmament of His throne upstairs? Definitely not!

Enters King David School at Teshie. The photograph on this page was taken on Friday, November 7, 2008 at 9:45 am. Take a close look at the actions in the photograph. There are more than forty children in the 4-10 year age-bracket. About 20 of them were playing football with one teacher refereeing the match. A heap of typical Ghanaian garbage – plastics, paper, leaves and odd-assortments – was burning close to the play-ground, emitting apparently over-powering toxic smoke.

Two other teachers are relaxed under a lush green tree nearby, in a conversation posture, oblivious to the looming smoke inhalation danger. These teachers are adults and must know better than to expose themselves and the children under their supervision to this frightening environmental sanitation hazard. What would King David of bible days, the obvious inspiration of the name of this school, do/say? He’ll dance butt-naked, in wild protest!

We patiently await complaints from owners/proprietors of King David School that reference to them in this article is damaging to their image. How about the toxic dangers the school exposes to the children? The potential ailments that might kill these innocent kids in future because of today’s toxicity they are inhaling will be attributed to wicked grandmothers and grandaunts and other older woman in their general neighbourhood! Oh, the misery of womanhood!

Fact: we are all at risk. Even the privileged few who ride in air conditioned vehicles with glass windows tightly rolled up have good amounts of smoke sneaking in through the natural holes of the vehicles. The smoke freely makes its way into their widely-open African nostrils. The other day, I saw a police officer at Tetteh Quarshie Interchange with a handkerchief over his nose. Lesson: we should all cover our noses in Accra as a survival strategy. No one is safe.

So I’ve also adopted smoke management strategies when riding in a vehicle in Accra with car windows open. I place a pack of tissue paper or a clean handkerchief over my nose. Periodically, I hurriedly hold my breath when I see a puff of smoke suddenly and freshly released from a moving vehicle nearby. But periodically, I get caught in shock-and-awe smoke-puff kill-me-quick situations with no tissue paper or handkerchief. When that happens, I become a full sucker of vehicle fumes and roadside garbage burning smoke.

Not that the handkerchief/tissue saves me from smoke inhalation. At best, it sieves the smoke and gives me a false feeling that I’ve out-smarted the smoke. This is not an effective strategy so I’ve cranked up a more sophisticated but ridiculous method. Soon, I’ll carry clean face towels and a flask filled with fresh water. Periodically, I’ll wet a towel and place it on my pint-sized nose. After a while of passing through Accra, I’ll abandon the polluted towel and replace it with another freshly wet towel. Or, I’ll use nose masks. This could become a fashion statement in Accra! We should all wear nose masks like smog-filled Beijing during last year’s Olympic Games in China.

But the EPA and AMA could save us from ourselves by adopting several strategies. One of them should be to set up a toll-free phone system for the public to send reports of registration numbers of smoking vehicles and information on neighbours who burn garbage by either text message or phone calls. Such vehicles must be chased off our roads and garbage burners must be accosted immediately by ‘Boola Police.” Fine idea? You bet, but implementation will fizzle out just like toxic smoke in our nostrils.

dorisdartey@yahoo.com

A Conversation with PAV Ansah on Politics – In my Dream

A few days ago, I had a rough dream-filled night. Here is what I think caused it. I ate my all-time favorite meal from my Ocansey-Kope roots – banku and gooey okro soup – late evening although I had no business over-loading my tender stomach with such heavy meal. You can take a woman out of a village but you can’t take the village out of a woman. So in the state of restless belly-full, I went to sleep, tossing and turning. Then, I began to dream dreams.

There were first, some petty useless forgettable baby dreams. Then, the late Professor PAV Ansah, who during my student days, we affectionately called Uncle Paul, came through. I bombarded my school teacher with questions on politics. So dear reader, listen in on whatever my post-dream memory has gifted to me.

PAVA: Oh, it’s you, Doris. Foolish girl! What do you want? Why have you disturbed me from a peaceful rest in God’s blessed bosom?

Yaa Doris: Uncle Paul, Ghana misses you, a lot. We are still in the Fourth Republic! No new Republics. You checked out 15 years ago at a young age of 55, just one year into the Fourth Republic. Things have happened oh! President Rawlings ruled for eight years. In late 2000, NDC lost the elections and smoothly handed over to an NPP administration with JA Kufuor as President for another eight years. Here is a juicy one: Nkrumah’s Flagstaff House is now a palace, a place of envy for the occupants of the White House and Number 10 Downing Street!

Late last year, the NPP lost narrowly and is currently painfully transitioning to hand-over to the NDC with JEA Mills as President. It’s so much fun watching the NDC and NPP play a game of ‘oware’ with Ghana. The post-election period was tense. Some FM radio stations dragged the press freedom you fought for into the gutters, with audacity. You should have been here. I’ve wondered a lot what you would have done. Oh, I’ve news for you. One of your students, John Mahama, was just sworn in as Vice President. Yes, he was!

PAVA: Is Ghana still practicing affirmative action even at the highest office? Those radio stations should have been muted to stop the foolishness. Why should Ghana allow complete idiots with selfish motives to drag the country down to their low-cost levels? Unacceptable! What was the National Media Commission doing? Where is Rawlings? Is the NDC continuing change or changing continuity? Are cabinet members ancient and/or modern? Is it old wine in new/old bottles? Are there any reminiscences and continuities of PNDC?

Yaa Doris: The VP position appears to be packaged and reserved safely for northerners. Rawlings is there as father and founder and soul of the NDC. The NMC issued a press statement during the post-election crisis (I think). Several of the old political names including PV are still floating around. Weird! Unlike you, they are not ghosts – yet. As for change, it was the mantra of the NDC campaign – for votes. Ghanaians are still a sophisticated, enlightened, proud and decent people. We now fully understand the power of the thumb. If you disappoint us, we boot you out with our thumbs and say, ‘good riddance to bad rubbish’. It’s such a beautiful thing.
PAVA: So what else is happening?

Yaa Doris: Uncle Paul, in last Saturday’s (January 7, 2009) issue of The Ghanaian Times, there was a report of NDC vigilante groups attempting to take over public toilets and bath-houses in parts of Accra. Reason: their government was now in power. They forcibly ejected the managers and made away with undisclosed sums of money. These are clearly acts that are incompatible with the spirit and intent of democracy.

PAVA: What? This was a perverse pig-headed behavior by emasculated rascals, ruffians, rogues, gangsters and ragamuffins. The NDC government must end such iniquitous activities of pestilential bands of miscreants, knaves and scoundrels before Ghana begins to look like the PNDC and NDC1 eras. If such thugs are left on the loose, you shall have on your hands a spate of highway robberies, brigandage and other types of violence. This will be very sinister and ominous for our beloved peaceful land.

Yaa Doris: Women are still endangered species in Ghanaian politics. Women’s representation in parliament has dropped for this election period from 25 to 15. Besides, women, who constitute 50 percent plus of the population still operate in the backyard cooking and cleaning. But the good news is that we have a female Chief Justice and Speaker of Parliament.

PAVA: I hope Mills is not a male chauvinist intoxicated with machismo but a man with a soft spot for the daughters of Eve. There are many dynamic, agile, formidable and active women in Ghana who can perform efficiently. If it’s decided to have a third of the cabinet as women, they will be there for the asking. Mills should give the daughters of Eve a chance not out of paternalistic or patronizing inclination but out of equity and fair play.

Yaa Doris: If you, a Scholar, a Christian and a Gentleman – a pure maverick from Number A69 Prabiw Street, Saltpond, had been President now, what would you have done?
PAVA: I would have a tall shopping-list. I shall not violate or rape the Constitution. I would be very cautious and circumspect in nominating people for appointment. I shall be my own man and keep at bay all low-cost rabble-rousers, praise-singers, flatterers, courtly fobs and other sycophants because those crying Hosanna today are the same who will shout ‘castrate him’ tomorrow.

I shall not turn the Presidential Palace into a transit lounge, employment bureau or social welfare center. I shall make sure that in addition to moral probity and transparency, I look for excellence and competence, going beyond the average and mediocre level because a low-cost cabinet can be a serious handicap to governance. I would get more women into my cabinet. As President, I shall ensure an equitable distribution of national resources and save the youth from trouping to Accra to sell made-in-China goods by the roadside.

To make sure that the truth gets to me unalloyed, undistorted, unprocessed, or in any way manipulated before transmission, I shall allow freedom of the press. I shall give a monthly press conference to keep in regular touch with the people and direct my information minister to hold weekly press conferences after each cabinet meeting to keep the public informed about the state of the nation’s business, especially regarding all the many promises I made to the electorate when I desperately needed their votes.

Yaa Doris: Out there, do you get the chance to ‘inflict unedifying and insipid homilies on docile people’? Are you still foul-mouthed and use strong language to make your point? Or, you’re actually resting?

PAVA: Doris, you’re still a foolish girl! Keep an eye out there for what happens during the first 100 days of Mills’ administration. There should be no kid-glove treatment. Keep this in your coconut head: “The price of liberty is eternal vigilance.”

Suddenly, my phone rang and I woke up with a start, sweating, crying! How I hate the cell phone!

Footnote: Much of the words of PAV Ansah were his actual words, taken from his writings, “Going to town: The writings of PAV Ansah.” The book was published after his death.

dorisdartey@yahoo.com